In the words of The Verve Pipe, the song Freshmen from 1996; I was "guilt stricken and even sobbing". When I gave my notice to quit my job as a preschool teacher, I was quite annoyed and distraught at how guilty I felt. Many educators feel the same overwhelming sadness as I did when they choose to step away. Maybe you have experienced this feeling. The awkwardness of facing your fellow staff and parents when the news spreads like wildfire that you have "given up on your short friends" or have chosen to "walk away" to pursue another passion. Maybe you feel guilty because you are beginning a new endeavor after holding steady over many years because it's what you know.
Not only did I feel guilty but I felt sad. I wasn't sad because of the kids and their families--of course, I was close to them...I had forged many very close and cherished friendships over the years. I came to realize; I was guilty because I was worried about what would happen in my place....who would take over my classroom...how could I leave and expect my director to staff my position...what kind of drama was now going to take place in my absence. I realized I was sad because I was worried about what people would think about my decision.
When I came home that day, I remembered something my dad (a Ph.D. and educator himself ) had told when I chose to move back to the Midwest and teach, leaving behind everything I had built the previous fifteen years. He said, "Sarah, you have to quit "shoulding" on yourself. Dad nailed it when he calmly consoled his almost forty year old daughter.
You cannot live in regret. Whatever your dreams are; I pray you recognize them, work toward them and, when it's time to take a leap of faith and pursue them...GO FOR IT!
Believe it or not, things will move forward in your absence. And we will keep those forged friendships, we will know that at some point in time, we were a part of some beautiful child's education. I made a difference. You made a difference.
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